Jobless Again

Friend: So, Dana, where do you work now? What do you do?

Me: Uh, oh, uhm…. (Trying to find the right words – or excuse???).. Actually, I just resigned from my previous job... (Smiling with sadness in my eyes).

Friend: Ohh.. (Looks at me with a concerned and puzzled look)

Soooo saddd... 

This is the typical conversation that I always get when talking with friends and acquaintances about my career life. How does it feel to be jobless when people expect you to be already stable at the age of 36? Humiliating, of course. Humbling. It hurts my pride so much because people might be thinking, “Whatever happened to this girl who was once an achiever? What a bum.” L

When I'm down, my family is affected, too.

With Mariah, my niece.

Just this January, I lost my job again due to another psychotic episode. I think it was related to my fasting (partial) and dieting – I was not eating rice for a month although I was taking fruits, veggies, eggs, crackers and milk. The episode was a scary one, involving delusions of demons. L  On the lighter side, the story I created in my mind included famous characters like Adam Levine (Maroon 5) and Christina Aguilera. My psychiatrist was also a character in my story. Haha. The music hit “Moves Like Dagger” (Maroon 5) and “Our God” (Chris Tomlin) were always playing in my headphones even when I was asleep. In my mind, I was a spy. Found the connection? Hehe. Funny, no? Hehe. Well, that’s how a crazy mind thinks.

Now about the job I lost, my only consolation was that it was not forced resignation. My boss was actually very kind to still offer me part-time job if I needed one. Nevertheless, I chose to resign from that accounting firm I was working with due to my condition.

My mom witnessed all of my highs and lows.

Despite all that, her strength kept me going.

Mariah, why are you smiling at Tita Dana? 

Do I look funny? Nyehehe.

How many times have I lost my job since I got sick in 2007? Around four times already. But you know what? I have no regrets because ever since my last resignation, doors for work opportunity have been opening for me left and right. And God has been providing for my financial needs.

Off to work. Any work God gives. Happy.

There are many career options for bipolars but based on experience and according to research, “polar bears” should not be exposed to extreme stress. Therefore, bipolars should be careful in choosing which job to take. I know this is difficult especially now that it’s quite hard to find a job. But it all boils down to our CHOICES.

“You’ll have to start making choices that are different from the choices of most others you know. You won’t do it because you like it. You’ll make your choices because you know they’re healthy ones.”

-  Russ Federman, PhD and J. Anderson Thomson, Jr., MD, “Facing Bipolar,” p.86

Bipolar disorder, by the way, is also known as manic depression and is a psychiatric diagnosis for mood disorder. Those with this condition go through episodes of a frenzied state called mania (or hypomania) and typically alternates with periods of depression (Wikipedia).

Now, going back to being jobless – if you don’t have a job right now, don’t lose hope. There is always hope for everything because we have God, our Creator. And if you’re having problems at work and are dissatisfied with your career, take heart. It’s not the end of the world. God has something in store for you. He has a wonderful plan that you don’t know about yet. You just have to do your part.  Keep on trying and knocking on doors. You’ll never know what will open. Just hold on to the Lord and He will provide for your needs. Imagine, if it weren’t for a job loss, I wouldn’t have ventured into blogging and you wouldn’t be reading this message now. J Life has its many twists and turns but at the end of the day, God’s goodness and sovereignty prevails. God knows your talents and your gifts. He knows where you will excel. He knows your strengths and weaknesses. HE KNOWS YOU. HE LOVES YOU.

So relax, ENJOY the ride in this journey called Life.  J

*FOLLOW my blog by sending me your email address above (upper right hand portion of the page) and receive automatic blog updates. Yay!

*Follow me on Twitter too! @polarbeardana

*Find me at Facebook and let’s be friends!

*Please feel free to COMMENT HERE. But you would have to be logged on to Gmail. If you don’t have a Gmail account, please just send me a message through Facebook (Dana Alimorong). I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.. J

“And we know that in ALL things, God works for the good of those who love Him…” 

Romans 8:28