Deep Darkness

This past week started out on a heavy note. I got news of a friend whose family member is in big trouble which caused this friend of mine to fall into depression with suicidal thoughts. L

Let me share with you my thoughts on depression… Depression is very REAL. It is everywhere. There are MANY hurting people out there who are SILENTLY fighting the deep uncertain darkness, afraid of being discriminated by society.

Many people silently suffer from depression.
Photo Credit: Aurumarcus, Getty Images

By God’s grace, I haven’t been utterly downcast because in the spectrum of bipolar disorder, I am more manic (hyper) than depressive. But in my whole lifetime, I’ve had suicidal thoughts on two occasions. First was in early 2000 when I told God that if I didn’t get a scholarship for my graduate studies abroad, I will take my life. The second was in 2007 (after my first episode) when all my close friends cut communication with me. That was very painful because I spent almost 12 years of my life with them. Honestly, at that time, I felt I was abandoned and dropped like a hot potato. But through the years, I’ve tried to understand their reason for not communicating with me and I have forgiven them. I am sure they did it out of love and did not mean any harm. Maybe they just didn’t have the awareness on how to correctly handle a psychiatric patient at that time. Things happen for a reason and God is sovereign. Anyway, the good thing was God saved me from my suicidal thoughts back in 2007 even if I was still hallucinating and delusional at that time.

I’ve also seen depression in my father in the past. There were days, months even, when he would just stay in bed the whole day with desperate thoughts… He was in and out of various hospitals (psychiatric wards and home care centers) for almost 10 years. My father went though many painful experiences in life which caused him to spiral down into depression. This pushed our family to the edge of the cliff and that was when we came to know the saving love and power of Jesus Christ. God taught our family that only unconditional LOVE can heal my father. Medicine can help but without the support and prayers of family, true friends and the church family, healing will be difficult. My father is so much better now. He says that he battled depression by counting his blessings and by focusing on helping others rather than looking at his own problems. He is one strong man and I admire him for having weathered the storms through the years. He is not perfect but he is a loving and selfless father. He is a hero. My mom is also a hero. She stood by her vow of not leaving my father and the rest of us siblings though it was very difficult. I admire her, too. I praise God for my wonderful parents. May they be blessed, indeed.

Therefore friends, if you know people who are depressed (or who have ailments), LOVE them. PRAY for them. LISTEN to them. ACCEPT them. Never leave them because no man is an island. Let them know that you are there for them. We were created as social beings. Let us never judge them because we will NEVER truly understand the hopeless pit they are in. Only God can perfectly understand the searing pain. And only God can save! That is why the Bible is perfect and beautiful by saying:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  Matthew 7:1-2

God has been gracious to me through the years – fixing my mind and theology. I had suicidal thoughts before because I did not study the Word of God correctly. Suicide is a SIN. And no one has the right to take away his/her own life because it belongs to God. Praise God for His mercy upon me -- He has forgiven me of that sin!

Friends, in life, we will all go through different levels of darkness. But rest assured that Christ is our LIGHT! Thus, let us always walk in His light. J

“Jesus said, 'I am the LIGHT of the world. Whoever FOLLOWS ME will never walk 
in darkness but will have the light of LIFE.' ”  John 8:12

* * *

On the corner of Fifth Street


The homeless man needs to eat


Down on the edge of town

Lost his family long ago


Nobody even knows


They all just pass him by

In a high rise building


The rich man has everything


But the ladder has reached its end

Hasn't talked to his kids in weeks


He and his wife don't even speak


But nobody even knows

And all the world cries for HEALING!


The deepest LONGING for the love of God!


And oh, the greatest mystery...

Love has come to SET US FREE!

In the little quiet town


The HOPE of the world was found


Under the night sky

HE died and rose again


The sacrifice that conquered sin


Now we are His feet, His hands

And love is on the move


Revealing heaven's TRUTH


Love is on its way 
and it will find you

And anyone can run 
into the arms of God


Oh, LOVE is on its way
 and it will find you

It will find you
.

-  Leeland, “Love is on the Move”

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