Anti Psychotic Free!

Yesterday, I had my monthly psychotherapy with my psychiatrist and GUESS WHAT?! The antipsychotic medicine (Risperidone 2mg) that I had been taking since this February was removed from my regimen already!!! Yipeee!!! After six looooong months, I’m FREEEE!!! Doc said I’ve graduated from it and there seems to be no need for me to take it anymore. Ohhhh, thank God! I’m soo happy-dee!! J 

Now, just for your added information, Risperidone is an effective antipsychotic drug that is mainly used in treating schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, the mixed and manic states of bipolar disorder and the irritability associated to patients with autism.    

Risperidone... It was nice being friends with you..
Now, it's time to say sweet goodbye.. 

What’s left for me to take is Depakote (Valproate) 500mg which is a mood stabilizer that I take every morning.  Valproic acid (VPA, Valproate) is used as an anticonvulsant and mood-stabilizer, mainly in the treatment of epilepsy and bipolar disorder. It is less commonly used for major depression. Valproate can also relieve migraine.

These lavender tablets have been my oh so faithful
companions for more than five years now... 

I am aware that some people are wary of taking prescription medicines in treating mental disorder. I respect the views and opinion of these people. As for me, I believe in BALANCE – the balance of nutrition, exercise, psychotherapy, medicines and most especially prayer. And as long as the medicines I’m taking will not have adverse side effects, then, I’m fine with that. J

I really just want to SHARE MY JOY with all of you. And I would also like to encourage you if you’re losing hope in a battle that you’re in -- there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Just surrender your cares to the Lord and He will take care of it. Nothing is impossible with Him. J

I can live without anything except this little bag..
My medicine kit!!

Sources:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Risperidone 

                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depakote  

No More Mourning

He’s turned my mourning

Into dancing again

He’s lifted my sorrows

I can’t stay silent

I must sing for His joy has come

Where there once was only hurt

He gave His healing hand

Where there once was only pain

He brought comfort like a friend

I feel the sweetness of His love

Piercing my darkness

I see the bright and morning sun

As it ushers in His joyful gladness…

  

“Mourning into Dancing” by Ron Kenoly

After nearly a month of sickness in the family, I can now relax a bit and
clown around again! Back to my old self, right, my friend Gorilla? Hehe.

Healthy But Thrifty

In light of my nephew’s dengue fever which I wrote about in the blog entitled “Pain,” I felt I had to share with you what I’ve been learning on improving the immune system. It’s the rainy season and there are many sicknesses out there that can be caught. So, stay physically strong. I’ve always been a believer of PREVENTION…

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Don’t wait to be brought to the emergency room. Do what you can to stay healthy. But others might say it’s EXPENSIVE to be healthy. Well, it NEED NOT BE! There are many nutritious food out there that are cheap. For today, I’ll focus on VEGETABLES.

Let me tell you a story about my Lola (Grandmother) or “Mamang.” As an industrious woman, she loved planting vegetables. When she was still young and was living in the province, she planted all kinds of vegetables in front of their house so that every time she cooked, she would just harvest from their backyard. Because of this, her children learned how to eat veggies everyday. When I was growing up, I would always see her cooking and eating vegetables and fish. Her specialty was the Ilocano dish, dinengdeng. Dinengdeng, also known as inabraw, is similar to pinakbet but it has fewer vegetables and more bagoong soup base. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinengdeng)

Mamang in the garden. Fort Bonifacio officers' quarters, 1971. 

Mamang passed away at the age of 87 without any complicated or debilitating sickness. In fact, in the morning of her death, she even did some household chores. She was a very strong woman.

Now, I’m really appreciating the wisdom of my Lola. Her eating habits are admirable. She still ate meat, of course, but in moderation. It really pays to watch our diet. Lots of green leafy vegetables will do wonders. And those vegetables which are sold in the nearest market are very CHEAP!

So, let me share with you the simple recipe of my Lola’s dinengdeng. Try it at home and feel the positive effects of vegetables on your body. Be healthy! J

MAMANG’S DINENGDENG

Ingredients:

Onion (1 medium, sliced)                       Ampalaya (Bitter melon) – 1 small, sliced

Tomato (1 medium, sliced)                     Talbos ng kamote (Sweet potato tops) – 1 bunch

Ginger (1 thumb-size, crushed)              Malunggay leaves (Horseradish) – 1 bunch

Eggplant (2 medium, sliced)                    Hugas bigas (Rice washing) – 3 cups

Saluyot (Jute) – 1 bunch                         Bagoong isda (Fish paste) – 1 tbsp.

Okra (Gumbo) - 8 small                          Fish (grilled or fried) – leftover fish (2-3 slices)

Sitaw (String bean) – 1 bunch, cut

Procedure:

1. Boil the hugas bigas.
2. Add the onions, tomatoes and ginger into the boiling water.
3. Put bagoong isda (not too much) to taste.
4. Bring in all the vegetables and cover the lid. Wait for the okra, bitter melon and sitaw to soften a bit.
5. When vegetables are cooked, place the fish on top of the bunch and cover.
6. Simmer. Serves 6-8. 

That’s it! Serve and enjoy. Happy eating! J

A different version of the dish.. With dilis/anchovies..
Photo Credit: http://angsarap.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/dinengdeng.jpg 

Some Useful Information:

Saluyot –  rich in calcium, iron, protein, vitamin A, C and E, thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, folate and fiber.

Source: http://www.medicalhealthguide.com/articles/saluyot.htm 

Talbos ng kamote – rich in potassium, beta carotene and fiber. They are also high in lutein and zeaxanthin (xanthophylls) which are good for the eyes especially in the prevention of AMD (age-related macular degeneration) and cataracts.

Source: http://foodtech.uonbi.ac.ke/node/1164 

Malunggay leaves – rich in protein, vitamin A, B, C and minerals.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moringa 

This time with beans.. Delicious and nutritious!
Photo Credit: https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1 

MANGAN TAYON! Let’s eat!

Pain

I’ve been feeling very low lately. I was supposed to release a blog with a different topic but my mind is somewhere else… My nephew, Johann, is in the hospital suffering from dengue fever. L  He’s the first one in my immediate family to have that illness and our whole family is so worried.

Aedes mosquito.. The culprit! 

When I first learned about it, I admit that I somewhat complained to God. My mom had just finished with her ulcers and one week of sleepless nights to go with that and here we are again, with another member of the family – hospitalized. Parang walang katapusan (It’s like there’s no end to this). L  When will it end, Lord?

Then again, I was reminded of God’s LOVE and I sought forgiveness for my complaining attitude. God is sovereign and is in control of all things. He loves us so much that He will not allow anything to hurt us. But that doesn’t mean we are exempt from PAIN. Pain, sometimes, is a good thing. Pain makes us grow. Pain makes us dependent on God alone and not on our strength.

As our family waits for Johann’s condition to improve, we hold on to the Lord’s promise (as reminded to us by my eldest sister, Ate Peachy):

“You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power 

among the peoples.” Psalm 77:14

Please continue to pray with us. Thanks so much, friends. J

***

Dengue fever is a mosquito-borne disease which occurs in tropical and subtropical regions of the globe. Symptoms usually occur four to 10 days after a person is bitten by the mosquito. Common signs of dengue fever are:

            Fever (up to 41 degrees Celsius)

            Headaches

            Muscle, bone and joint pain

            Pain behind the eyes

Other symptoms are:

            Widespread rashes

            Nausea and vomiting

            Minor bleeding from the gums or nose

Do everything to prevent dengue especially during the rainy season!!

PREVENTION: Here are some tips to avoid being bitten by the infected mosquito..

1. Stay in air-conditioned or well-screened houses. Keep mosquitoes out at night.
2. Reschedule outdoor activities. Try not to be outdoors at dawn, dusk or early evening when more of these insects are out.
3. Wear protective clothing. Wear long-sleeves, long pants, socks and shoes when going to mosquito-infested places.
4. Use mosquito repellent.
5. Reduce mosquito habitat. Infected mosquitoes usually live in and around houses, breeding in stagnant water that can collect (ex. tires).

Source:  www.mayoclinic.com

Photo Credit: Image1 – www.blogs.discovermagazine.com (Muhammad Mahdi Karim)

                      Image2 – www.cafleurebon.com  

Talking Teddy Bear

When you were younger, what toys did you enjoy? For the boys, perhaps there’s Lego (for those born in the 70’s or 80’s? hehe), then cars, robots and building blocks. For the girls, well, there’s the iconic Barbie, maybe a doll house, cooking set and stuffed toys. I’m a fan of stuffed toys. I remember, when my niece, Mariah, was still a toddler, she would go to my room and we would play “puppets.” I would use my stuffed toys and create a show wherein they would come alive. Mariah enjoyed it so much! J

Who would ever forget "The Muppets" and their silly antics? Hehe.  

A minion with a million bears.. Stuffed toys everywhere!

Took a picture of these cute kids enjoying the toys in the toy store..   

When I grew up, I never knew that my mind would play “puppets” on me. Here's what happened... 

I just had my first episode in December 2007 and I was back in my parents’ house, having been brought home from the boarding place I was living in. My mind had gone haywire because of too much stress in several aspects of my life – emotionally, relationally, professionally, financially, spiritually.. I had not been sleeping enough hours for days and was drinking lots of coffee and energy drinks because I was trying to hit a deadline. Put all of that together and BAM! I SNAPPED. Another factor to this was genetics. My father was also diagnosed as bipolar so that makes me predisposed to having it too IF exposed to triggers.

One evening, I was talking with my sister who called long-distance from the USA. My whole family got so worried about me that time. While we were talking, I saw, as in literally saw one of my stuffed toys moving its mouth!! I had to look twice to see if what I was seeing was real. I blinked and still saw it talking (but with no sound). Indeed, TEDDY WAS TALKING! TEDDY WAS ALIVE!

Teddy, are you alive??!!!  

That time, of course I was still so spaced out that I did not realize I was hallucinating. Wow. So that’s what a hallucination looks like. It did not last long though. Maybe it ran for less than a minute. Finally, my teddy stopped moving its mouth. The puppet play was over.

That is just one of the many experiences that I’ve had with my “crazy” and funny brain. There is chemical imbalance up there so I have to manage it properly with medication, psychotherapy and a healthy lifestyle (sleep, food, exercise, supplements). But, most importantly, I have to pray and immerse my mind in God’s Word – His promises for me. I need to constantly surrender my brain to the Great Physician. I know in my heart that Jesus is my Healer. I know nothing is impossible with Him. J 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but BE TRANSFORMED

by the renewing of your MIND.”  Romans 12:2 

***

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Let's play puppets! Second childhood? Hehe.

P.S. Teddy has never spoken in any of my other delusions and hallucinations again. Maybe he decided to retire from the puppet stage. Hehe. J

Photo Source: http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net

                        www.muppet.wikia.com

Heart ON FIRE

 “Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14

“We love because He first loved us.”  1 John 4:19

Dear Lord,

Today, I was reminded to LOVE. Sometimes I become cold, indifferent, selfish and self-centered. I’m sorry for that. Help me become a more loving person to my family, my friends and my community. I can only do this because You loved me first. So, help me and fill me with Your love that it may overflow to the people around me. Thank you, Lord. 

In Jesus’ Name I pray, 

Amen. 

I don't want to be cold-hearted. I desire a heart ON FIRE for You.

Photo Credit:  http://www.bestwallpaperr.com

Going Nuts!

Lately, I’ve been going nuts… I’m not losing my mind, though. Hehe. What I mean is that I’ve been eating generous amounts of peanuts. As I had sleepless nights looking after my mom last week, I was afraid that my brain functions would go haywire. I feared that the lack of sleep would trigger a mild episode. You see, sleep deprivation is not really good for those with mental condition.

Waaaah! Help! I'm going nuts!! 

So to compensate for this, I thought of boosting my brain’s strength by eating “brain food” – one of which is THE POWERFUL PEANUT. J

Yummy yummy peanuts!
Photo Credit: Birdsong Peanuts

So, what’s so cool about the peanut?

Well, the peanut or “groundnut” (Arachis hypogaea) belongs to the “bean” family (Fabaceae) and is thought to have first been cultivated in Paraguay. This annual herbaceous plant grows from 30 to 50 cm high.

Besides being a favorite snack, it has several uses. Believe it or not, it’s made into solvents, oils, medicines, textile materials, cosmetics, plastics, dyes, paints and others. Well known products are salted peanuts, peanut butter (sandwich spread, peanut candy bars, peanut butter cookies, cups), peanut brittle and shelled nuts (plain/roasted). Peanuts are usually the major ingredient in mixed nuts because they are relatively cheaper as compared to Brazil nuts, cashews, walnuts and the like. And of course, we are familiar with boiled peanuts, prepared raw and unshelled.

These mighty nuts are packed with nutrients, giving over 30 essential nutrients and phytonutrients. Peanuts are a good source of niacin, folate, fiber, vitamin E, magnesium and phosphorus. What more is that they are also naturally FREE of trans-fats (yes!) and sodium and has about 25% protein (higher rate than other nuts).

As I’ve mentioned above, peanuts contain NIACIN (vitamin B3) which is a major contributor when it comes to BRAIN HEALTH. I will deal more about Niacin in another blog. J

So, you might be wondering what’s been happening to my brain functions after eating peanuts? Amazingly, it has been steady. No agitated thoughts. No anxiety so far. I’ve been able to sleep soundly for the past few days.  Thank God. Looks like the friendly peanut has done magic in my coconut. J

So, I suggest you grab some nuts especially if you feel that your brain needs a little help. Join me and let’s go nuts over peanuts! J 

One of my favorite snacks.
Not too much, though, so as not to have arthritis. Hehe.
Moderation is the key to healthy eating. 

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Munching on some nuts.. By the way, despite its name,
the peanut is NOT a nut but a legume. Hehe. 

Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut

               Holford, Patrick. “New Optimum Nutrition for the Mind.” 

I Need a Makeover!

When I was younger and was still working in the corporate world, I put heavy make-up everyday. This was because it was required at work and it was important to represent my company well and to look pleasant for my boss, clients and colleagues. When I got sick, I have to admit that I lost interest in putting make-up. Maybe because of low self-esteem…? I would always say that I got “tired” of putting make-up but perhaps there was a deeper reason for that. Maybe it was because I became insecure. Honestly, I felt ugly as a person with bipolar disorder. L

Now that I’ve become comfortable revealing to the world about my condition, my insecurity has somewhat lessened. Amazingly, blogging has done wonders to my person and now, I’m trying to get my groove back. J

This time, I prefer light day-to-day make-up that will not make me look old. Haha! Trying to hide my age, huh? Now, my niece, Pauline Samson, who’s into fashion and the arts, has taught me some lessons on light make-up called the “No Make-up Make-up by Pau.”

Pauline is a 3rd year student at SoFA (School of Fashion and the Arts).
She loves making other people look beautiful.

No Make-Up Make-Up by PAU

You can use ANY brand of makeup that you prefer.
For this session, we used these items.

1. Put BB cream all over your face and neck.

2. Put pressed powder to minimize the oiliness of your face (not too much, though!) and to achieve that natural “dewy” look.

3. For the eyes, use the color “Toasted” all over your eyelids and then the color “Simog” on the outer corners of your eyelids. To brighten up the eyes and to make it look bigger, put the color “Virgin” onto your tearducts. (The colors are based on the “Naked” palette).

4. Place the cream blush onto your cheeks. This magic cream will make your cheeks look naturally pink.

5. Place lipstick onto your lips. Choose a light and natural color.

6. Curl your lashes and put mascara.

That’s it!

Step by step... This is how you do it! 

Hairdo: Just gather all of your hair at the upper back of your head and twist it to make a “messy bun.” Use any accessory to make your hair pretty like a ribbon or flower.

Finished!

This pretty messy bun is making me hungry. Who wants bread? Hehe.

Now, compare the difference… 

Despicable Me vs. Happy Me. Hahaha!

I will not end this blog without going back to the issue of my “insecurity.” I have come to realize that it hurts God when we are insecure. It’s because that reveals we are not secure in His eternal love. We are His masterpiece, created in His image. I hope that as I come to know Him and walk with Him more, I will never ever feel unconfident, insignificant, ugly and anxious again. I hope that YOU will never ever feel that way, too. J 

Taddah! There you go. Simply sweet.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, 

I know that full well.”  Psalm 139:14

French Toast

As I wrote in my previous blog entitled “My Baby Bird,” mom was sick for a week and was given antibiotics (Co-Amoxiclav* 500mg/125mg). But thank God, she is better now! On top of the Omeprazole* she was prescribed to take, she also took Ranitidine*(150 mg) last night which helped ease the pain in her tummy. Our whole family is just so relieved right now that she was able to sleep soundly last night without cringing in pain. God is indeed good.

I miss my mom – the strong, active and fun-loving mom that I spend most of my time with. I miss our bonding moments -- going to the mall to just walk around and window shop. (Yes, we don’t buy too much stuff when we go out. Hehe). We do this often because my mom who is diabetic needs regular exercise. I miss lounging in a café with her as I work on my blog while she enjoys Belgian Waffle or her very favorite French Toast and then sleeps in the café couch afterward. 

Mom eating her all-time fave -- French Toast!
(Pictures taken around three weeks ago before mom got sick) 

A Toast to our health, wellness, peace and joy!

Focused on blogging in the cafe.. 

My mom’s sickness made me realize that life is really unpredictable and very short. And it really cannot be denied that my parents who are both in their 70s are old already. In reality, they don’t have that much time to live in this world. And so, all the more I felt that I have to make the most out of my time with them, to say “I love you” as often as I can, to appreciate them whenever there is an opportunity and to take care of them if I can. True enough, time flies.

Mom with a faraway look... 

Belgian waffle and coffee.. Perfect match. 

If your parents are still alive, I encourage you to do this. Maybe you’re not in good terms with one or both of your parents. I understand that they may have their own misgivings. But nobody is perfect anyway. We, too, are flawed in many ways. I always remember this verse from Scripture:

“ ‘Honor your father and mother’ --  which is the first commandment with a promise – ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ ”

Ephesians 6:2-3

I believe there is blessing to be received when we become a blessing to our parents. But more than the thought of just “receiving,” I think the focus should really be on “giving back” first -- to God and second -- to our parents. Without them, we will not have life. It still goes back to LOVE.

INDEED, IT STILL GOES BACK TO LOVE. J

I love you, Mom. You're the best 'best friend' in the world!

*Some useful information:

Co-Amoxiclav is an antibiotic that kills bacteria that cause infections. It is composed of two types of medicines namely amoxicillin and clavulanic acid.

Source: http://xpil.medicines.org.uk

Omeprazole is a proton pump inhibitor that is used to treat gastroesophageal reflux disease, gastric and duodenum ulceration and gastritis.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omeprazole

Ranitidine inhibits stomach acid production. It is commonly used to treat peptic ulcer and gastroesophageal reflux disease.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranitidine

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Happy to be blogging again with Snow (my laptop) after a 1-week break.
Photo taken by my official photographer -- who else but my beloved Mom! 

My Baby Bird

The past few days were quite difficult for me. Mom got sick (recurring fever) and was given antibiotics to be taken for one week. What complicated the matter was that she has both high blood problems and type 2 diabetes. She was initially given 500mg antibiotics but her stomach was too weak to take it because she had been eating like a bird since she got sick. Her food intake was so little, just like a bird’s peck on grains. L  This caused her to vomit several times, to lose her appetite and to lose her energy on several occasions. Our family was so afraid in regulating her blood sugar level that she was rushed to the hospital yesterday for possible confinement. Fortunately, all her test results were normal so she did not have to be admitted.

I write this now, late in the evening, watching over my “Baby Bird.”  I’ve lacked sleep two nights ago and I’m just not sure if I will miss a few hours again today. My lower back is already aching. L I will sleep in a while after I’ve given mom the last antibiotic tablet for the day. Gosh. She’s taking so many medicines that I sometimes lose track of which one she should take! (And I will not fail to mention that she still has medication for her eye).

Just looking at all of these medicines make me feel weak.. Poor Mom... 

It’s hard to see the people you care for in pain. L Our whole family is really just praying that the Lord will heal mom soon. I’m also praying that I’ll have enough strength to take care of her for one whole week... or more?

On the other hand, this circumstance was such an eye opener for me. Since mom was debilitated, I had to take over all of the household chores that she had been doing. I have to admit -- it’s very difficult. Because of this realization, the more I respect and admire my mom – how she keeps it “all together” despite the fact that she’s already in her 70s. She is God’s beautiful gift to our family.

And so friend, kindly pray for my mom, my “Baby Bird.” My family and I will greatly appreciate it. God bless you. I leave you with this quotation by E.M. Bounds:

“Only God can move mountains, but faith and PRAYER can move God.”

Ingrown Toenail

It was time for a pedicure.

Pedicure time!

As I sat there in the salon, with both my legs placed on top of a small chair, I had a nice chat with the mani-pedicurist about life and yes, about my toenails. It turned out that my nailpolish had been on my toes for a long time already that it had created white unpleasant marks on my nails. Eeeep! I got quite worried but Ate Susan immediately calmed me and reassured me that the problem could be easily fixed – which she did in no time. Thank God, she’s good in her craft!

As she worked on my right foot, I learned that she lives in Padilla, Cogeo (Philippines) together with her children and mother-in-law. She’s a single mother and has (guess how many kids?) NINE kids!! And the clincher was that she raised all of them all by herself, being separated from her husband who had never offered to give financial help. Amazing! I was appalled by how a mother like her did it. She revealed that when they were still in Bicol many years back, she would sell fish and would still offer manicure services on the side. That’s how she did it. Plain hardwork. Now, three of her children are already working and all of her children had gone to school.

Nailpolish galore! Lotsa cool colors to choose from. 

Suddenly, “Ouchhh!!!” It turned out that she had successfully removed an ingrown toenail on my right foot. It was my FIRST EVER ingrown! Can you believe it?! She showed me the toenail and I looked in awe at how big and hard it was! So, that’s what an ingrown looks like! Haha! (Sorry for being an ignoramus!)

I must admit that the ingrown toenail was painful but thinking about the trials that Ate Susan went through as a mother, I was brought back to my senses and realized how MINISCULE that pain was. Indeed, other people have bigger problems. I should be thankful that God gives me enough strength and inspiration to overcome my daily battles. J

In 15 more minutes, the pedicure session was over and though I could still feel the pain in my foot, I left the salon with a smile, metallic-blue toenails and memories of my FIRST EVER INGROWN TOENAIL which goes with Ate Susan’s ever-memorable life-story. J

Till my next pedicure session! J

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” 

James 1:2 

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Blue... One of my favorite colors
Metallic blue to match silver sandals

LEARN how to prevent ingrown nails. Visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ingrown_nail#Prevention